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My not-so-little dilemma

Okay, why the hell is life always so god damn complicated. Anyways, heres a little situation I just found myself in today. My sister, who is 18, is thinking about getting a tattoo, which I have absolutely no problem with because I think it would be really dumb of me to say no, don't get her tattoo when I personally have 6 myself and I am planning on getting another sometime this week.

Alright, my problem with her tattoo first of all is the location of her tattoo. Keep in mind that I am trying to watch out for her best interest and I disagree where she wants to get her tattoo (her wrist) because if she wants to pursue the career that she does, I think it would be a problem. The other problem with her location is that it would be noticeable by not only our family but more importantly our parents who would be extremely upset with her on that.

The other problem I have with her tattoo is I personally believe she did not place enough thought into which design she wants and I feel she will not be happy with the design in the future.

Of course, the answer is to simply tell her everything in a heart to heart BUT she never listens to me at all. Not even when I discussed something as important as college. I cannot tell anyone she listens to either because they're my aunts and they're going to think either a) I forced her to get tattooed, which is complete bs or b) they need to talk her out of it.

Keep in mind, I have absolutely no problem with my younger sister getting tattooed. In fact, I would welcome it since as of now, I'm the only member of my family with tattoos. But how the hell can I reach her and convince her to do something else before its too late?

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5 Comments

Comment by BanSilini on May 14, 2008 at 1:07am: It's gotta be her decision ya know. She's the one that has to live with it. If she regrets it's later on it's a tough lesson learned. If you tell her what you think it sounds like she might just do it out of spite.

Comment by Grosz on May 14, 2008 at 11:15am: put your thoughts down in a hand-written letter. it's your best bet to eliminate any of the social cues that signal her to shut off whatever it is you're saying out loud.

Comment by Miguel Collins on May 14, 2008 at 4:11pm: Tattos on the wrist can be coverd by long sleeve shirts.

Aren't tattoos also about an experience. Sometimes those experiences are mistakes. Its only the wrist, its not like tis the top of the hand or the neck.

Be easy.

Comment by Sheila on May 14, 2008 at 9:32pm: I agree with Grosz, put it in a letter. Express how you respect her interest in the art of tattoo. Then go into discussion about your experiences getting tattoo, interactions with others (tattoo and non tattoo) and the work industry. Suggest she check out this website and some of the forums. This place is the greatest for bouncing ideas off of others and reading/learning about their experiences. Let her know that you are talking to her as a friend and not a family member. I have a piece on my wrist but I waited at least two years and several tattoos later before doing that. And as Miguel says wrist tattoos can be covered with a bracelet, watch or long sleeve shirt.
I do however question her desire for the tattoo based on your sentence, "The other problem with her location is that it would be noticeable by not only our family but more importantly our parents who would be extremely upset with her on that." Is she getting this tattoo because it is something deep down in her heart she really wants or is she doing it to be defiant?
I made my daughter do a lot of research and we discussed the ramifications of her getting anything visibly tattooed on her body based on her career choices and where she thought she might see herself 5,10, 15 years from now. And she realized that some of her tattoo decisions were not the brightest and it was best to wait. Don't get me wrong she is still tattooed but they represent her and her life and she pleased with her decision as am I of what she got and placement.
Once you have made your point, be patient and let her make the final decision and be there for her regardless.

Comment by Father of Roses on May 14, 2008 at 11:17pm: Hey man, I think it's incredibly sweet that your sister has a bro who cares enough about her to want her to think about her choices a little bit before she follows through with them. However, it's been my experience my man that once people are adults, they make their own decisions no matter what people think. These are her lessons to learn. Let her learn them. And you know, with laser removal these days, it may not be as life-limiting as it would have been a few years back. Let her grow up on her own. But I think it's incredibly cool that you care about your sis. Like old .38 special used to say, "Hold on loosely, but don't let go".