INKED Inc. - a community for the counterculture

Partners of the Tattooed: What's their take?

One of the things that made dating for me hard back before I met Lilith was my tattoos. As I am fairly introverted, I have never been one for the big social scene and as a result, I don't interact with many people that are tattooed as extensively as I am. I was fortunate to find my wife, Lilith, who not only accepts my passion for tattooing, but also participates as well (she is working on a phoenix backpiece with Trevor Marshall).

Despite this, she has mentioned some concerns about the extent I want to take my art. I had planned my theme out to a little short of a bodysuit, but she really doesn't want me to go to that level. Yes, it is my body, but compromise is part of being married... or that's what they tell me!

Have any of you run into similar problems at all? How accepting are your spouses or life partners with your tattoo work? For those of you currently married to or dating tattoo artists... have you ever had to do the reverse... like curbing their interest to tattoo you more and more?

Or if you are still in the dating pool, tell us what your experience has been when dates learn about your tattoo work.

Thanks! - Ryan

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sugarplum on July 14, 2007 at 1:52pm: Ryan, you know who my boyfriend is so not an issue, ya think? lol.
My ex husband, was upset, angry upset, because I had more ink than him for sometime. And actually I think I still do...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jess on October 5, 2007 at 2:11pm: My hubby's a little jealous, I have a better paying job with nice benefits and get extra money on the side doing cakes and designing photo albums, so I'll often use my spare cash to get tattooed. I've surpassed him in hours in the chair and it irks him like nothing else, but in a good way. I used my holiday bonus last year for HIM to get a large thigh piece done so he'd feel better. Plus, I like it when he gets new stuff, too, because then I have more fun stuff to look at on his beautiful body!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by foghorn on July 14, 2007 at 3:08pm: My wife of 14 years has no ink and although tries to show interest she would rather i not have any tattoos....She knew I had one when we were married, however, she just thought that was some kind of drunken college lark...which it pretty much was.....; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Melissa on July 19, 2007 at 11:42am: My husband is completely unmodded. Except for a scar on his upper lip and a busted nose, he's exactly the way he came into this world!

When we met, I had pierced my tongue and nipple, and he liked that. Wanted me to get my nose pierced but I worry about that mod in the corporate world. He knew I wanted tattoos but hadn't gotten them because as a starving student, what I wanted did not fit in with rent and tuition.

A year after we'd married I went and got my cranes. Four months later I had my leg done. I don't think he dislikes my tattoos, and I'm 100% sure they do not embarrass him, but I just don't think he understands my motivation. He thinks it's a silly thing to spend my fun money on, when I could be buying more toys and gadgets like him. ;)

I also, never asked, but did consult. I think he would be upset if I got ink that I couldn't cover up, though.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jess on October 5, 2007 at 2:13pm: Your tattoo's won't break or get lost like his gadgets LOL; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Nina on July 19, 2007 at 1:57pm: My husband actually got me into tattoos. I kind of always liked them, but never actually looked into getting one myself- until my husband (then boyfriend) looked into getting his second one.
I said "well, I think I'm getting one too then". He didn't believe me, because I didn't even know what to get at that point. It took me half a year to find the idea for the first one (stylized gila monster, a variation on a traditional native American symbol, on my shoulder).

It was out of dumb luck that I ended up in a good studio, because my husband went to Sting (then Bremerhaven, Germany, now Phoenix AZ) for his first one and went there for the second one too. I got my tattoo from Swann, Sting's apprentice at the time, and went back to Sting himself for my second one 2.5 years later. I have since become much more extensively tattooed than my husband, but he can hardly complain, can he? ;); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Miguel Collins on July 30, 2007 at 6:18pm: My wife has always been supportive of my tattoo's, although I did tell her before we got married that I plan to eventually cover my arms, chest, back, stomach and thighs. She says that I will look like a circus freak but she thinks its sexy.

The thing that worries me is that my tattoo quest will push her into getting a tattoo that she wouldn't of gotten unless she was around me. (Hmm that was a confusing sentence).

I encourage her to think very carefully before getting a tattoo and not let the fact I'm covered make her feel that she has to get one to validate herself for me. That is what I'm afraid of.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by BlahStuff Jake on July 31, 2007 at 1:54pm: My wife and I have been together since we were both bare-skinned.

We went through kind of "arms race" period during which we couldn't get ink without the other also getting something, but now she's slowing down and I'm picking up speed.

So, yeah... We're supportive in both directions.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Deborah on August 5, 2007 at 5:15pm: My husband and I met online as friends through BME (www.bmezine.com); we both had gotten tattooed at the same shop in New York City. So we both had tattoos coming in.

Though we are supportive of each other’s tattoos, we argue (or heatedly debate) whose turn it is to go in, as I’m constantly trying to get more sits. :)

Also, I think we both hold the other person back when it comes to highly visible tattoos, my husband wanted to have a tattoo that went up on his neck and I was against it until he gets a bit older (we’re both 27). Conversely, I’ve really wanted to get my hands tattooed and he wants me to hold off.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by monk on August 10, 2007 at 12:37pm: Hmm. I have actually a wife who doesn't agree on me getting more tattoos. She thinks I have enough, but I'm planning on getting a lot more. A problem??? I don't know. Yet! I will get more and I am a stubborn person and do it even if the prettier side objects.

She doesn't want to have any tattoos and I've wondered few times why she married a tattooed guy, who is obsessed with them. It's one of those things.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Gordon B. on August 21, 2007 at 9:18pm: My wife got one first -- I was pretty jealous as it was something I'd always wanted but never done, and she went 'n' done it (suddenly, on a lark) first! So I went into serious design mode & got one a couple of months later. She loves it -- which is way cool.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Zach T on August 28, 2007 at 12:38am: I've been dating my awesome gf (fiance?) for nearly 3 years, and I got my second tattoo when I had only been dating her for 3 months. I'd been planning on getting it way before then, but she was very supportive. Since then, we've talked it over a couple of times, and she's supportively hesitant about me getting more. Her stance is basically, if it's something I want and has real honest significance to me then she's ok with it. I've run stuff by her as a sort of courtesy before; I'm not saying I outright wouldnt get something done if she didn't like it, but I really value her opinion on smaller issues than tattooing, so I want her to be comfortable with it. She occasionally brings up getting one of her own, but I would never force anyone to get one just because I like them. I also have contemplated doing bigger pieces, visible forearms, etc, and I would definately run these by her if I was ever really excited about any of these prospects. Just my take. Peace.

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